


First and Final

by tlea



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: Angst, Fireworks, First Kiss, Hot Chocolate, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:06:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5022250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tlea/pseuds/tlea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>January 1st.</p>
<p>It  marked their first and final kiss.</p>
<p>Their first and final ' i love you's'.</p>
<p>And their first and final 'goodbye.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	First and Final

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling stressed over school so I had to write something sad and angsty. This was the product. I'm sorry.

                                                                         

        January 1st would forever be engraved in Jay's mind.

        It all began the day before, December 31st or as everyone else seemed to call it, New Years Eve. It was a surprisingly cold day, even colder since Jay had given his only ratty jacket to Carlos weeks before. Everyone on the Isle were happier than usual; the holidays always brought more food. As much as Jay hated Auradon and all the people in it, he couldn't help but feel grateful for the specialties they sent on New Years, such as hot chocolate, cinnamon cake, apple cider, and sometimes even beer.  However, they sold out quickly ( or got stolen, rather) so you had to always get up early if you wanted any, which was why Jay was running through the alleys, acting as if he was being chased by a giant dragon.

       Jay never understood the hype over New Years. The only thing that changed was a number. Their life was still going to be as shitty and meaningless as it was the year before. But the hype he did understand was over the food. It was the only day they weren't starving. The only day where him and his three friends got a break and just got to sit, relax, eat, and maybe enjoy each other's company.  

       His feet were padding loudly on the concrete as he dashed toward the only 'coffee' shop where he was supposed to meet up with Carlos, Mal, and Evie for hot chocolate. He was already ten minutes late, and he worried that all of the hot chocolate would be gone. He had been looking forward to it all year.

      When he finally reached the rundown shop, he was happy to see that there was hardly a line outside. When he got closer he was able to see his friends already sitting inside, each with a cup of hot chocolate in their hand. Carlos had two. Jay smiled widely as he pushed through the people and practically flung himself inside, dashing towards his friends.

     Without even saying hello he grabbed the second plastic cup in Carlos' hand and took a big gulp of it. It burned his tongue and throat as it went down, but he didn't mind, as it actually tasted real, and not like their muddy coffee they got on a daily basis.

      " Hey!" Carlos protested, looking up at Jay. " That was mine"

      Jay frowned as he looked at his cup and then back at Carlos. " Oh, I'm sorry. Now I feel like a douche," He tried to hand it back to Carlos but was rejected as Carlos shook his head.

       " He was kidding," Evie piped in. She was bundled up in a big white coat and was sitting next to Mal, who was wearing her usual black jacket. They were both sitting on the grungy couch across from Carlos.

     " Oh, well now you're the douche," Jay joked as he swung around and plopped down onto the couch, touching knees with Carlos.   

      " Watch it," Carlos laughed, " I'm the one who got you that hot chocolate, I can take it right back."

      Jay smirked, leaning forward to look straight at Carlos. " Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try."

         Carlos licked his lips as he held Jay's gaze. It was something they did a lot. They called it to their stare off. Mal called it sexual tension.

        After a moment of silence he went back to drinking his hot chocolate, quickly stating. " Maybe later."    

         Jay sighed loudly, resituating himself. He sunk down into the couch and lazily fit his arm around Carlos' shoulders and let it rest on the top of the couch. Carlos took another sip of his drink as he sunk into Jay's arm, ignoring the look Mal and Evie were giving him.

        Mal fake coughed, muttering " Just date already." Cue another cough.

       Carlos fake coughed back, refuting with, " Shut the fuck up." He opted out of coughing again and instead shot her his middle finger.

      Jay responded to Mal's 'cough' by nosing at Carlos' neck. After a few quick seconds he blew a puff of air, causing Carlos to squirm. Carlos' face turned crimson and he tried his hardest to hide his face in Jay's shoulder.

      Jay and Carlos' relationship had always been complicated. One day Carlos let slip 'I like you', and Jay surprisingly responded with ' I like you, too.' Nothing changed after that, except for the excess butt touching and occasional 'playful' groping. They had never kissed, never exchanged 'i love you's. Those were what made it 'official' and they didn't want official. They want to be more than friends but less than friends with benefits. They were in the perfect spot, but Mal insisted on bumping them up to the next level.

      Jay gazed at Mal, questioning nonchalantly. " You were saying?"

      Before Mal could respond, Evie cleared her throat loudly. " Okay!" She shouted loud enough to gain the groups' attention. " What's the plan for tonight?"

      " Um," Carlos began, looking at Jay. " We were thinking fireworks."

      " Fireworks?" Evie frowned. " We don't have fireworks, remember."

      " Yes, but Auradon does.*" Jay smirked as he sat up straighter, prepared to tell his friends what he had found. " A couple days ago I discovered that from this one particular roof you can see straight to Auradon. We'll get a perfect view of the fireworks!" Evie's face lit up, smiling widely. She turned to look at Mal enthusiastically, but Mal seemed less thrilled.

      " Why aren't you smiling?" Carlos asked, studying Mal's face. " Firework are like art, except with explosions. And you love art and exploding things."

     " Look, I'm all for danger, and...exploding things, but isn't that a little dangerous?" When the three teenagers all shared the same look of confusion, she explained. " I mean staying on the roof, not the fireworks. I mean, New Years Eve is the most dangerous night for us and we're going to risk our lives on a roof top to watch strings of color in the sky?"

         Mal was right. New Years Eve was the most dangerous night for the Isle. Well, technically a couple hours after midnight on New Years was the most dangerous. Normal people, such as people in Auradon, made what they called resolutions. Goals and hopes to become a better and nicer person. The Isle was the opposite. They had New Year resolutions: be an even worse villain then the year before. And instead of fulfilling these 'goals' throughout the year, about 3/4 of the Isle's population decided to go out with a bang the day of. Which meant New Years day consisted of a lot of robbery, vandalism, and murder. So once the bell goes off at 12, signaling the New Year you best get your ass inside your house and not come out until morning.

       " But Mal!" Evie protested, shaking Mal's shoulder. They had never seen fireworks and this could be their only chance!

      " Look, as soon as the bell chimes 12 we will all make a dash to our houses. If it seems like it's getting too rowdy before we make it home safe, then we can stay with each other at someone's house." Jay knew it was a little idiotic, but he knew how much Carlos wanted to see the fireworks. He couldn't disappoint him, not after weeks of searching for the best building to look at the fireworks.

     " Alright. I guess it'll be kinda cool."

     " Awesome!" Jay smiled over at Carlos who grinned back at him. " It's the roof on the red building to the left of the school. Y'know, the one with the black rimming on top?"

       Evie eagerly shook her head, " Yeah! That's the library."

      " Oh." Jay licked his lips. " Okay, well, then let's meet at the library roof at...11:30. Sound good?"

        The other three agreed quickly.

        They all left immediately after that. Evie insisted that she would need to take the whole day to plan her outfit out for the occasion. Mal didn't bother to tell her that it would be dark and they wouldn't be able to see it.

       Once Mal and Evie were far enough ahead, Jay turned to Carlos and whispered. " Let's meet earlier, okay? 11?"

        Carlos gazed at Jay's lips before quickly looking back up at his dark eyes. " Okay."

**

     Carlos walked wearily onto the roof. The wind hit him hard, making him glad that he had worn ~~his~~ Jay's jacket. He tugged at it, squinting through the darkness. " Jay?" He asked softly. " Jay!" He said again,louder.

      He heard a clatter to his right and then a voice. " Over here."  Carlos jumped slightly, but turned toward Jay's voice. There was a soft light coming from a couple candles Jay had lit that were illuminating his body, making him look a little more scary.

      " It's cold up here." Carlos laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. He walked towards Jay, watching carefully where he put his foot.

    " Tell me about it." Carlos could see that Jay was wearing his vest with no jacket to keep him warm.

      Carlos slowly sat himself down next to Jay. He scooted himself on the concrete and slowly made his way over to the edge, swinging his legs over like Jay was doing. " You seriously gave me your only jacket?" Now he felt guilty. " You're an idiot."

       " Well now you know I really like you," He joked as he swung his legs. He could feel Carlos still next to him, causing him to wonder if he said something wrong.

        " So you actually do like me, then?" Carlos asked, gazing over at Jay. The flames from the candles caused shadows to flick and change on Jay's face, making it hard to determine what his facial expression was.

        " Yeah. Why else would I grab your butt all the time?" Jay laughed, and Carlos wished that the statement had annoyed him, but it didn't. Instead he laughed at Jay's lame joke. Their laughing quickly died down and they were sitting in silence again. Jay grabbed at Carlos' hand and Carlos gladly let him have it.

     After debating on asking, Carlos nervously spoke. " Do you ever want to," He stopped, sighing shakily. " I don't know, actually like...have a relationship?" It was a scary topic. A topic that was literally forbidden to talk about.

         Carlos expected Jay to jump up and start shouting, but he didn't. He did the opposite actually. His hand went limp in Carlos' and he was deadly quiet. It was a little scary. " I don't know." He knew. He _so_ knew. But he was scared. Terrified, actually.

      Carlos looked at Jay, and while squeezing his hand he softly said, " Hey." Jay responded by locking eyes with him. " It's okay." Jay gulped heavily as Carlos flicked his gaze between Jay's eyes and mouth. It was a quick decision. But it was an easy one. He wanted it, and he knew Jay did too. He knew Jay was too afraid to do anything about it and he knew he was going to have to take the initiative.

      Using the hand that wasn't holding Jay's hand, Carlos placed his hand behind Jay's neck and started leaning in. Before he could place his lips on Jay's, Jay's said softly, " Shouldn't we wait for midnight?"

      " Tradition is shit," Carlos mumbled before swiftly locking lips with Jay. Jay's heart fluttered and he grabbed at the wall, making sure they didn't both fall off. He easily scooted himself closer to Carlos, and Carlos responded with a light hum. Carlos' lips were like Jay had expected them to be. Dry and chap but somehow perfect.  Carlos tried to pull away,  but Jay chased back, undoing his hand from Carlos' using it to grab his back to pull him closer.

        Carlos' mind was reeling. Jay had actually responded well. They could actually be something. He could finally have someone that actually cared for him.

      He was kissing Jay, and Jay was kissing back.

       The kiss went on for minutes, Jay was sure of it. They ended it breathing heavily, with Carlos practically sitting in Jay's lap, his hands intertwined in Jay's long hair. Jay was surprised they both hadn't tumbled off the roof the way they were sprawled out.

    " Mal and Evie will be here any minute. And as much as I want to continue kissing you, I don't really want Mal coming up to find us going at it. She'd give us so much shit," Carlos laughed as he climbed off Jay's lap and resituated himself next to Jay with his legs hanging off the roof.

      " Shit, I almost forgot about them." Jay muttered. That was a major bummer.

        Mal and Evie showed up ten minutes later with a box of cinnamon bread and two pairs of gloves from Evie for Carlos and Jay.

        " How exciting is this!" Evie squealed as she hugged Carlos tightly. Carlos chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

         " Very," He gazed at her outfit. " I love your outfit." In complete honesty, he couldn't see much of it besides the fact that she was wearing purple jeans. But he knew she had probably spent hours on it and she deserved at least one compliment.

       Evie grinned as she looked down at her own clothing. " Thank you for noticing!"

       " Yeah, I especially like the boots," Jay added in. He had seen the sparkly boots she had been wearing when she had first arrived on the roof.

        " I made them myself!" She smiled over at Jay who gave her a quick wink. " Thanks."

        " Ugh, you guys are disgusting," Mal muttered at their remarks. She had never heard so many compliments in one sitting.

         Carlos leaned over Evie to look at Mal. " Your hair looks great today, Mal." Jay laughed as he grabbed at Carlos' hand again.

         " Shut up," She growled, annoyed.

          Suddenly a boom filled the air.

         " They're starting!" Evie screamed right into Mal's ear. Mal flinched back and restrained herself from whacking Evie over the head.

       Jay watched as red and purple filled the sky. He looped his arm around Carlos and scooted himself  closer. " This is perfect."

**

        " Three!" Carlos shouted, banging his feet on  the side of the building.

         " Two!" Jay shouted in unison with Carlos.

         " ONE!" Evie shouted, jumping up from her seat.

         " Happy New Year," Mal yelled, but less enthusiastically as the others. " Now let's get the fuck out of here."  She quickly hopped up from her spot. The others quickly mimicked her.

         " That was so amazing," Carlos said happily as he latched onto Jay's hand.

          " The silver fireworks were my favorite!" Evie smiled as she twirled, earning an eye roll from Mal.

          " I liked the red ones," Jay inputted as they prepared to go down the stairs. Suddenly a loud bang filled the air.

           " What the fuck was that?" Mal questioned, startled.

           " More fireworks?" Evie questioned as she twirled around to look for the source of the noise. What she saw made her eyes go wide.

           " Guys..." Carlos muttered softly. Jay felt the hand in his go limp and suddenly Carlos was on the ground. When Jay looked down at Carlos he could see a dark patch forming on Carlos' side.

          " Oh my god," Jay muttered, falling down to his knees next to Carlos. Evie quickly followed, skidding to the other side of Carlos. She quickly put her hands on Carlos' jacket and her hand came back soaked with his blood.

         Mal was frozen in her spot. She wanted to move, to help him, to do something, but she couldn't. " Oh my god," She breathed. " Oh my god, he got shot. He got fucking shot."

       " Where the hell did someone get a gun!" Jay yelled as he dashed to find something to stop Carlos' bleeding,

         Evie stared at her hands, trying to stop them from shaking. " Someone on another roof must have shot him," She said as Jay placed his hand on Carlos' forehead. Carlos' breath became short and ragged as he struggled to breathe.

        " You're okay," Evie whispered. She looked down and could see that he was bleeding out. The concrete was slowly turning dark and Evie's new jeans were partially soaking it up. " We need to do something!" Evie sobbed with wide eyes, looking at Jay.

         " Go get fucking help!" Jay shouted at Evie. " Go get help! Get help!" He shouted over and over as Evie made her way up, dragging Mal with her. They ran down the stairs, looking for someone who could possibly help them.

      " You're going to be okay," Jay reassured the boy, trying to stop the bleeding with Carlos' jacket.  Carlos was pale and shaking. Jay could feel the blood on his hands.

      " Don't....lie," Carlos choked out. His vision was going, he could hardly breathe. He knew how it was going to end for him. Using all his strength he slowly reached for Jay's hand. Jay took it quickly, knowing he could lose Carlos at any second. ( But he wasn't going to lose Carlos. He wasn't. Carlos was a fighter).

   " I was on..." He took a ragged breath and Jay wanted to tell him to stop talking, but he knew this might be the last time he heard his voice. " somebody's list. Makes me 'pecial." Carlos joked, letting a small smile show on his pale face.

    " That's not a good thing, C." Jay tried to smile back as he moved closer to Carlos. He knew if he tried to laugh the sob in the back of his throat would escape.

       " Jay," Carlos sighed. His eyes were becoming heavy, and he was content in the arms of Jay. Safe. He was safe. " I love you."

          That was his breaking point. Tears escaped Jay and he couldn't hold back a short sob. He pressed his forehead to Carlos', crying out, " God, I love you too." He pressed a chaste kiss to Carlos' forehead before stating, " But this isn't the end, C. Mal and Evie are coming with help, we're gonna fix you up and you'll be good as new." He smiled at Carlos. Carlos didn't understand how Jay could be so hopeful. So stupid.

        " No," Carlos breathed, his grip loosening on Jay's.

        " Yes," Jay shook his head, a batch of fresh tears making their way down his face. " Mal and Evie will be here any second, and  it will-"

        " Stop, Jay. Stop," Carlos pleaded with Jay. He had to understand.

         " No," He spoke again. Denial. God, Carlos hated denial.

          He wanted to wipe away Jay's tears, instead, again, " I love you," It was a whisper. Barely. His eyes were fluttering, fighting to stay awake. Goodbye. Mal and Evie. He didn't get to say goodbye.

         " Tell Mal...E, g'bye," He used the rest of his energy to say one last time, " G'bye...Jay."

         Jay watched as the boy's eyes started slipping closed. " No!" He shouted. " Don't you dare, Carlos. Don't close your eyes. Come on, Mal and Evie are almost here. Keep them open." It didn't matter how much he protested, Carlos' eyes slid shut, and he breathed his final breath. Suddenly he was limp in Jay's arms and the truth finally settled in Jay.

        " No," Jay sobbed. It was all his fault. If he hadn't suggested to see the stupid fireworks. " Come back, C. Open your eyes." He buried his face in the crook of Carlos' neck, screaming and crying out his frustrations.

        Mal and Evie came back shortly after that.  

        More shouting and crying ensued. They comforted each other, but it didn't matter.

      Jay had never felt more alone.

**

      January 1st.

It  marked their first and final kiss.

Their first and final ' i love you's'.

And their first and final 'goodbye.'

But all Jay could remember was his warm dark blood and his cold hands.

Dead. He was dead.

He wished he could remember more. 


End file.
